New friends, welcome!
Old friends, thank you for coming back again and again.
I love the words: hybrid, hyphenated, bilingual, multicultural, synthesis, that reflect the great diversity in our society. These multiple traditions deepen our perspectives. How do we live together? ¿Cómo lo hacemos?
The interview today continues my Soy/Somos conversations with Latinos and others in the US rooted in more than one culture. This is who I am. This is who we are. I've held back Julia's full name to allow her some privacy.
Julia is from Peru. She came to this country when she was twenty, looking for work. We met in person at a non-profit cafe because we knew the staff wouldn't kick us out. We sat at the farthest table, and I turned on my recorder.
Julia has a deep, resonant voice. She held on to Spanish for half of the conversation until she eased naturally into English.
"I am in the process of completing my GED in English, equivalent of the high school diploma. I have three daughters. They're 14, 17, and 19. The oldest is a sophomore in college. I want my daughters to know that it's never too late to reach a goal. After working and raising a family, I want to do something for myself."
Julia, where in Peru did you live?
My parents are from the mountains near Cuzco, but they met in Lima. I was born and raised there with all the things that a capital city has. Yo tuve una bonita niñez, sin carencias, lacking nothing.
My mother raised me. My father died in an accident a week before I was born. But my mother was able to move forward. We lived with her youngest brother and my grandmother. The father figure was not lacking in my life because mi tío covered that part. I thank him to this day. My grandmother was the mother as my mother had to work. She sold children's clothing at el Mercado Central in Lima.
When did you come to the United States?
I was twenty when I came. I lived a month in Brooklyn but didn't find work. A friend put me in touch with a woman I didn't know who had a place to stay north of New York City. The first thing she did—I'll never forget it—is give me a ride in her car to register for English classes. The first thing you need to do in this country, she said, is learn English. The second thing is to try to buy yourself some mobility. To be able to drive. These are the basics.
Though I was soon working as a live-in nanny, I was able to go school on Mondays, one of my two days off for the week. This is where I met my husband, who also came to study English.
We had our first daughter ¡Gloria a Dios! My employers let me continue working, even with my baby. I would take my baby to work. “You can both sleep here while you need to.” When they traveled on business 4 or 5 days, I would stay in their home taking care of their children. They had a lot of faith in me, and I am very grateful. This was the first family with whom I worked.
I have been blessed to find good work in this country. I've heard many terrible stories. This family held me in a warm embrace. They made me feel that I was part of them. This feeling has no price tag. I had arrived in this country without family, with a different language and culture. Eso choca. My transition was not as hard because of them.
When did you begin to feel comfortable in English?
When I began to understand certain words, I was super happy, but it was difficult when I'd answer the phone. You have first to process the new language and then know how you will respond. You begin to understand, then you hit a plateau where you feel stagnant. I will never forget my first dream in English—I was having a conversation in English! When I woke up, I felt complete, realizada.
When would that have been?
At about 8 months. What helped me was working with an American family. My employer told me, we know some Spanish, we won't have any problems. I would more or less understand her, and she would more or less understand me. But when I began to speak English a little bit more, I said, if I am to learn English, please speak to me in English. Mi jefa gathered the children and told them I was learning English. When you want to tell her something, speak slowly. Mi niña, the oldest, helped me. I would tell her, I am trying to say this, and she would translate for me so I could use it with the younger children. Siempre me alentaba. You are doing well, Julia. She's my baby, mi niña. I still call her that. She's now twenty-nine.
How long did you have that job?
I started there as soon as I got to this country, until my little one was 16.
I had been a live-in nanny but after three years the youngest children were at least 5 years old and were beginning to attend school. So I began to work with other families as well. Son una linda familia. Siempre los voy a recorder.
Julia, do you remember anything especially difficult, then or now?
After I met my husband and had our first daughter—when she was 4 weeks only—my husband was deported to his homeland in Central America. I was in a kind of pregnancy leave.
This is the hardest thing I've experienced. I had an infant. I was alone. I was still in the process of learning English. When this happened, my old employer came to my house, picked me up and the baby and brought us to her house. She said go to your regular room and rest. Don't think of anything, just rest tonight and we can talk tomorrow. The next morning she said, you can stay here with the baby however long you need to. You don't have to work here. Whatever you need to do, you are welcome to do it here.
I thanked her from my heart, but I needed to have my own space and to move forward with my baby. At the time my husband and I were renting a room, the classic situation where a large house is rented room by room to different families.
There were strangers who would tell me, I have a friend who is giving away her little girl's baby clothes. People put me in contact with a person who worked with Early Head Start. It was a program guiding people like me on what to do, how to get help. I would say, I am working and don't need this kind of help. I think I can do it alone. One of my motores—my inspiration—was my mother who had raised me by herself. I should be able to do this in this country with many more opportunities. It's a conversation that I also had with my mother in Peru who said send me the baby. I can keep her for a while until you are up on your feet. I told her no. The baby is my responsibility.
This woman from Early Head Start gave me advice, such as don't have this piece of furniture here; the child can hurt herself when she starts moving. She began to teach me. The program was called "Home Base" then. From the mother's pregnancy to the child's twelve months. It was a kind of nursery day care from 8 am to 2 pm. My daughter then had priority for Early Head Start. Qualifications are low income, and the mother must work. The program really helped me. If you need help, ask for it. But if you think you can move ahead without it, do it yourself. Help can stop you from progressing.
My husband was able to return after a year. We were able to fix our situation in the personal and spiritual realm. We realized that without God, we would not make it. We got married.The second and third child were born. The kids began to go to school. We were working so hard to move ahead. Then the recession of 2008-2009 arrived. My husband worked in construction, so it hit us hard. I had to ask help from the government for food stamps. When we were able to walk alone, we gave up the help. Dios nos bendijo. My husband was able to build his own company with a full certification in home improvement in our community.
I always say, God, please bless this country. I love my country. Though there are difficult situations, you do have the opportunity to move ahead, if you look for it. When the girls were all in school I returned to learning English, a program run by BOCES. More recently, the secretary said to me, your English is good. Why don't you take the GED classes? I was like, can I? They gave me a test to level me. I was a regular in Math, and in English I was advanced, which surprised me.
Last year I decided to take two of the four tests necessary for the GED. I signed up for the Science test. Everything was new! You have to leave your personal items in one place, no phone. I was not able to finish the last 5 questions. I was pretty sure I had failed. Then I got the e-mail "Congratulations, you have passed." I said to myself, I can do this better.
Did you do studies in science before the test?
Our teacher prepares a lot of content to give to us. She gave me a whole packet of things. These are the kinds of questions that came on tests before. I noticed that the teacher has to pick up on whatever level you are. People come from different countries with different situations. There are some people who cannot multiply and others who have completed university. She must create a plan for every one of us. You have to start from here. You have to start from there.
The GED tests can only be taken in two languages, Spanish or English. We speakers of Spanish are blessed. We can take the GED in our own language. But I insisted I wanted to take the GED in English. There are people who come from Africa, from the Middle East. They have to learn enough English then move into, say, Math. Even in math which is all about numbers you have to understand the questions!
I've now finished the Math. Next for me are Social Studies and English. I am most scared of the English. You don't forget your main language, but the reality of English is here, and when you go to a different part of the world, to Asia for example, what are you going to speak? It will be English.
Is there a time frame for taking these tests?
No. It's up to the student and the time they have available. I believe that now you need to be attending at least 8 weeks before taking the tests. In the class we are sometimes ten, or there could be two. The classes are available in the mornings on Monday through Friday. People come when they can. Most are working.
It seems to me that you are very comfortable in English, because your choice of words is very appropriate. You are not finding other, simpler words. I think you are thinking in the language.
That is the biggest step. When you know what you need to say in English, you are not translating. Now, when I pick up the phone, I am comfortable.
How is your husband's English?
It is quite good, but he needs to practice. With his work, he doesn't have time to go to school. My work would slow down with the pregnancies, and I had some time to go back to school. When customers call my husband and give him their address, he asks me to pick up. I ask people if they can spell the address, and that's how I help him.
Julia, what gives you a great amount of pleasure in life?
I love to help others. Things that others did for me. How to apply. How to get this help. The woman who came to my house when I was a first mom. I didn't have my mother. I'd like to help others in the same way that I was helped. With no strings attached.
When you can help others without expecting something back. That is something that really comforts you. "I did something good today."
Dear readers - These conversations change me and leave me with a profound sense of gratitude. I am honored to have heard and shared with you Julia's story.
Let me know what you are thinking. Always, as you know, this is a conversation.
Muy linda historia, Malena
What a beautiful story. So many people take immigrants for granted.